literature

Scavenger

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ShedSimas's avatar
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Literature Text

A tree made of rock;
Complex burrows
In a forest of stone.
The chicks are hissing.

I catch the wind on my wings.
My kind in a cloud,
A tornado of black over green,
Where the smell of death is strong.

Fresh afterbirth carpets the ground
And my kind guzzles it heartily,
Livened by the bloody taste.
Spring is the best of seasons.
This was finished all the way back in April, but I didn't have the final copy on my computer. I finally remembered to copy it off the sign it is printed on when I went to Woodhaven yesterday.

In Creative Writing, we had to do a group EcoArt project about Woodhaven Regional Park. Part of it involved researching a species present in the park and writing a piece based on it; specifically, the peace was to be "nature's writing," a style where anthropocentrism is completely avoided.

My species was the turkey vulture, Cathartes aura.
© 2010 - 2024 ShedSimas
Comments2
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veritaslux's avatar
I like this piece a lot - I think it has some excellent elements to it. I particularly enjoyed the abruptness of the sentence, and some of the metaphorical images I get from lines such as "In a forest of stone". It is very refreshing to see a poet who actually knows how to use sentencing as well, instead of just putting random punctuation at the end of sentences "because it looks good".

If there is one qualm, it is with the use of the words "guzzles it heartily". For the type of bird you are describing, I personally would have used different words, perhaps "ravages" or something similar - the word "heartily" to me suggests "with merriment". Although that might just be my personal interpretation.

Other than that, though, this is an excellent piece of writing. Well done!